i am up in my room. it's june. i know it. but i just put on 'the family stone'. which is obviously a christmas movie. the other day i almost watched 'it's a wonderful life'.
i'm not sure when 'the family stone' became a comfort movie for me, but here i am, on june 17 wrapped up in the opening titles of this movie. with holly berries and christmas wreaths.
[also, a comfort movie for me=something i can put on and completely ignore because i know every scene, every nuance, every favorite line, etc. a movie that i can go to sleep to. and many times a movie that at one time or another has been watched by my entire family]
the last few weeks have been weird.
starting out with jessi being gone, then a few days trying to get back to normal, then jared and maria were here (i was off), now we're back to normal, but the girls are leaving in just a few days.
in limbo.
anyway, the evening began with jessi and i starting out on a walk to the starbucks that is a 5 minute-ish drive from our house. we realized very early on that this walk would take substantially longer than we wanted, and that we would end up walking back in the dark (on a very large, somewhat suspect road). thank God we went back, grabbed the car, and ended up being able to sit and debrief on life, instead of running in and out of starbucks with no talk time.
life is weird. and i can't breathe through my nose. but that's not why life is weird. it's weird because so many times we don't get what we deserve. both in positive and negative ways. the most obvious of which is how i can't even begin to deserve the affection that the Lord has towards me. on the contrary, many times i whine and complain about not getting what i want or think that i deserve. little things like how much money i made in the past, or even the clothes i put on, or the just in general, a better position in life.
i'll tell you this. i do not deserve this life that i am living.
i am insanely thankful to live here. more specifically, i am thankful to the point of tears to be able to live here WITH people that i consider family. the last couple of days have been an actual reward/gift. jessi and i have been able to spend some hilarious time together. which has been wayyy harder to come by than you might think. i feel life starting to slow down every so slightly, and i don't think it will last. i am really treasuring the slowness, and the knowing that life and its pace will pick back up sooner rather than later.
all that slowness means we have a nice long wait until christmas rolls around. but it sure is nice to get a little taste of it, even if it is still six months away.
Post a Comment